painting...with mom

Memorial day was yesterday.  A time to remember all those who've served our country, fighting to keep us free.  Apparently, it's also "national BBQ day" and "home improvement day."  Whatever you want to call it, it's really a day to spend with family. 

This year, my family was scattered.  Daddy and Josiah are in Uganda for another week.  Sarah left for church youth camp at the beach.  Michael was working.  So that means, Mommy and I were left to our lonesome.  We decided to make a day of it.  Mommy has been in a painting mood, and after 3 years of living in our house with every wall the same color as the day we moved it...a surprisingly pretty brownish/tan color...it's about time to add some color!   Sarah's room got painted last week (teal blue with a black chalkboard wall and a pink bathroom).  Now, it's my turn!

After mowing the grass (which, if you know me this won't surprise you, I did barefoot) and dropping Sarah off at the church, we headed off to Home Depot for paint!  We started our just going to paint my bathroom, but after finding a color we really liked, the half-bath downstairs was soon about to get colorized.  The picture shows the colors.  The color for my bathroom is the lightest green shown (Green Shimmer).  The color for the half-bath downstairs is the coral color second from the top (Sahara Sun).  The lightest blue color is for my bedroom, which hasn't been gotten to yet.

But enough about meaningless paint (although, both rooms did turn out really well).  The whole point of this blog is to express how wonderful my mom is and how thankful I am to have her as my mother and friend.  We've never, at least not to my memory, had a big strain in our relationship.  Sure we've had times where we fight or disagree, especially since we're both opinionated people and I've been a stupid teenage girl with hormones, back-talk and just plain sin raging.  However, as I've gotten older (and hopefully more mature), our relationship has grown from just mother/daughter to friend/friend. 

We genuinely have fun together as we do this crazy thing called life together.  We talk about anything, and I seriously value her opinion and advice.  She worked her way through college (yes, I followed in both her and my dad's footsteps by going to UGA), worked to put both her and my dad through seminary in Chicago, stayed at home to be her husband's helper as he was a pastor for 18 years in WI and home-schooled us four kids most of our lives.  She has glorified God is the seemingly ordinary tasks of life, found great joy in ministering to women of all ages (which is one of her passions in ministry), and has raised us kids in the knowledge and love of the Lord.  From her example, she is the reason I myself desire to be a wife and mother one day.  She has shown me Jesus in ways I can't even begin to describe.

Our relationship is deep not because we share DNA and have lived together for 22 years, but because we share the common bond of Jesus Christ.  It is only by the grace and forgiveness of Christ that we can have the relationship that we do.  I have truly been blessed with a mother and friend that I can be real with, cry with, laugh with, and trust with my life.  She seeks Jesus with everything and prays always.  I am thankful for the legacy of Jesus love that both her and my father have given me.  I am blessed because of their lives!


"But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments."   Psalms 103:17-18

doing crazy life together

For the past 2 years, one of the things that I am most thankful for in my life is a community of women in my life that are at the “next stage” from me.  These women have graduated from college, gotten married, and have young children.  With a desire to one day be a wife and mother, I love spending time with them because they teach me so much more about life and godliness than I could ever learn in a college classroom.

I had the honor and privilege of spending time with two of these women and their children yesterday for an afternoon.  There was no plan, no schedule of what we were to do, but that’s the beauty of this relationship: it’s simply doing life with these ladies…and I love it and thrive on it!  I arrived at J’s house around 3:30 in the afternoon, during naptime.  Her two kids would be asleep for about another hour so we got to sit in the living room, sip coffee, and catch-up on life.  We talked about everything under the sun: Jesus, recipes and Pinterest, growing in grace, kids, confession, babies, the Bible, health, church, what would be for dinner, etc.  You name it, we probably covered it!  

About 4:30pm, after discussing how long the kids were sleeping (which was about 4 hours, for the record), L arrived with her 10-week-old baby girl. Baby Girl A had just come from the doctor and had gotten four shots that morning (ouch!).  Even though Baby Girl A was sleeping and J’s two babies were sleeping, the peacefulness was short lived.  J’s two babies (Toddler Boy A and Infant B) and Baby Girl A was soon to follow.  We moved to the kitchen where snacks were given to the three kids and me!  Dinner (which was to be homemade turkey meatballs with pasta, red sauce and broccoli) was soon to begin.

During dinner preparation, which, to my observation, becomes a much more difficult task when you’ve got two hungry children, the kids were stripped down to just their diapers, and put in a high chair.  The faces that they gave J, L, and me during food prep was precious as they excitedly awaited their meal.  Homemade turkey meatballs, pasta and red sauce, and broccoli was soon put on their trays, and I soon saw why they wore no clothes.  These two clean, hungry children soon had full bellies and red bodies (Toddler Boy A soon acquired something resembling a clown mouth…you can use your imagination on that one). 

After dinner, kids covered in sauce and all, we moved to the back deck where two naked children played so very happily in a bucket of hose water and J gave them a mini-bath outside.  Such joy was seen on these babies’ faces.  They loved splashing, playing, and throwing every toy into the bucket.  J would spray Toddler Boy A with the hose and a huge smile came over his face as he ran around the deck laughing and giggling.  It was a sad day to come inside and get dressed, which wasn’t exactly getting dressed at all, but rather changing the wet diapers and just putting a shirt on. 

Dinner was soon done, the kitchen had been cleaned up and Baby Girl A was soon getting fussy (I would too I had just had received 4 shots in my legs), and Infant B and Toddler Boy A were getting restless.  A WALK!  That’s the key!  Three kids, two moms, me, and a dog were soon out the door!  J put her two kids in a double baby jogger, in nothing but a shirt and diaper (which was too cute to even try to explain), L put Baby Girl A in her car seat with her own stroller, and I leashed Spotted Dog B.  These kids love to walk! Well, last night that seemed to be the ticket to content and peaceful children – a short little walk around the block.  Toddler Boy A had his sippy cup and puppy (a stuffed animal blanket that is essential for putting him to bed), Infant B (with paci in mouth) almost fell asleep in the stroller, and Baby Girl A was peaceful in the stroller even though she would whine every other second because of the pain from shots. 

Through all this and because of all this chaos (including an almost runaway stroller), I love to spend time with these ladies and learn from them interacting with their kids.  Despite the occasional fussiness of the three kids (which was actually more often than not last night), the love that overflows from the moms is complete evidence of Christ’s love flowing through them.   I only hope they know what a blessing they are to me and how thankful I am to them for letting me “do life” with them and learn from them.  These women are truly amazing.  Whoever says that being a stay-at-home mom is not a full-time job has clearly never spent an entire day with one such woman. These women are first of all their husband’s helper, and to their kids they are nurses, cooks, cleaners (both of the home and the children), chauffeurs, coaches, hug-givers, boo-boo fixers, and most importantly they are Jesus to their children. They are patient, gentle, compassionate, giving, and self-sacrificing.  Through them, I see no higher calling than for a women to be a mother.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.   2 Corinthians 12:9

"I've never heard Jonah that way before"

About two weeks ago, a thought was planted in my head (no doubt by God), about how I need to be more active in the community of Athens, especially this summer as I have a little more free time. Well, every Saturday morning during the month of May, my dad and some other men from our church have been going to the local prison to do Bible studies with the inmates there. Last week my dad mentioned that they didn't have a woman for this week to go speak to the women inmates.

So immediately, the Lord starting convicting me that this is what I have been thinking about, and that I need to do this. My flesh wanted to say no: "I'm so young" "What if they ask question I don't know the answer to" "I don't feel that knowledgeable spiritually" and "I'm not a very good orator, what if I can't explain the gospel very clearly". Funny how the very next day, during my quiet time, I read this verse...

"For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power...For consider your calling brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong, God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God...Therefore, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord'."
-1 Corinthians 1:17, 26-29,31

The Lord told me simply, "You have all the 'excuses', but really, you're just too scared." So I decided for once in my life, to not argue any more with the Lord, and do what he told me to do. I prayed and the Lord laid on my heart to go through the story of Jonah, and not just the part of the big fish eating him, but the ENTIRE book, complete with the gospel presentation.

Now, I would post my notes on the book, the 7 pages of notes that I took with me to the jail, but if wouldn't be complete accurate as to all I discussed. The Holy Spirit completely took over my words. I used some of my notes, sure, after all, I did plan some of what I wanted to say. But I covered the morning in prayer and was desirous for the Spirit to guide my words, and he did...it was incredible. I don't think I've ever given a more clear explanation as to the gospel, what Jesus did for us on the cross, and how to have salvation...why? Because it seriously wasn't me talking...it was all God. And I'm so thankful for that. Ephesians 6:19 became real to me. God gave me words to fearlessly open my mouth and proclaim the mystery of the gospel.

When I was done, one of the ladies said to me..."I've never heard Jonah that way before. All I've ever heard about was the big fish." How sad, but how true that is of most people. They never get past a big fish swallowing Jonah, or even worse, they try and try to figure out what the big fish was and they never dig deeper into the fact that Jesus says he's like Jonah in the fact that he will spend three days and three nights in the belly of the earth, and that Jesus is the one that is "greater than Jonah" (Matthew 12:40-41).

Right now, I can only count myself priviledged that God would count me worthy by giving me the honor of revealing the great news that is the gospel to those lovely ladies in the prison.

Mission: Brooklyn 2011

spring break trip
March 12-17, 2011

I don't like Valentine's Day

No matter where I was in life, no matter if I was "with" someone or not, I've NEVER liked Valentine's Day (and I'm not just being a downer because I don't have someone special to spend it with, I've just never liked the holiday in general). And I've never really been able to put my finger on why, until I heard this sermon excerpt from Matt Chandler. This describes perfectly why I've never been a big fan of this particular holiday. So here's what he says, and this is found before his third sermon in the Colossians series, if you wanted to listen to it... (http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/sermons)

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To be real honest with you, I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s not because I don’t
love love. I very much love love. But I think our culture has no idea what it’s
celebrating. It has no real clear definition of “love.” If you’ll pay attention to our
culture, our definition of love can’t be defined outside of self-seeking or “what makes me
happy. . .how does it work for me. . .” So that’s a really lame, weird thing to celebrate.
If the idea is that love is this kind of emotional, stirring, mysterious thing that can attack
you from out of nowhere, that is so powerful that you can’t control it, that’s a dangerous,
terrifying idea. It’s not to be celebrated, honestly. So for those of you romantics who
think it should, let me just say this. Right now, I’m very much in love with Lauren. But
let’s say I go to the store tonight to buy a bag of chips and the baby angel in the diaper
with a weapon pops me in the back, and now all of a sudden I see this other lady and now
she’s the beautiful one, she’s the one that I love. That’s a terrifying idea and not one that
I think should be celebrated.

So I’d like to read a passage out of Song of Solomon 8, starting in verse 6. “Set me as a
seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love [ahava] is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.”

I have been with Lauren for 12 years, and we’ve been married for 10 years. There have
been these moments in our marriage and in our relationship where I thought, “This is a
really cool moment.” And few of those have anything to do with some hyper-emotional,
romantic, violins in the background, good glass of wine, beautiful scenery. Few of them
revolve around that. Honestly, they tend to be a lot more painful than that. I’ll give you
an example from this morning. Our seven-month-old is extremely selfish. I don’t know
if you’ve ever had one of these things, but she’s decided to cut all four of her top teeth
last night. So there was not a lot of sleep happening at the Chandler household last night.
But when they do radiation, specifically in your brain, you only lose hair where they
shoot the radiation. So I’ve got this real weird head thing where this is bald but then this
still grows hair. And I can grow hair like a Chia Pet. I could strain right now and make it
grow. I didn’t shave before I went to bed last night, so I had to get up this morning and
shave. And there are part of my head that I can’t see or reach. So at about 6:45 this
morning, despite the fact that we didn’t sleep much last night, I’m waking up Lauren.
I’m like, “Hey Boo, I need you to shave the back of my head.” To which her response
was, “They can’t see the back of your head.” So I was like, “I know they can’t see the
back of my head, but this can’t happen. You’re going to have to get up.” So Lauren
comes into the bathroom exhausted and shaves the back of my head so I could be pretty
for you. Now, that’s ahava. That’s a love of the will. That’s not, “Oh isn’t this
romantic? I get to get up with my sick husband at 6:45 in the morning after only getting
a couple hours of sleep and shave his radiated head.” But that’s ahava. That’s love.

That is a foundational, deep, full of guts, “I’m not going anywhere” love. That’s to be
celebrated. If we could celebrate that, then I’d be all about Valentine’s Day. But that’s
not what our culture is celebrating. It’s so much more emotive, so much more silly, so
much more hollow, so much more “I like you today. Let’s celebrate that.” So I’m not a
fan. That’s the mini sermon. Now let’s get to Colossians.

______________________________________________________________

P.S. As long as we're celebrating Valentine's Day the right way, I'm ALL for it!

Uncensored Grace

Currently I am reading a book called Uncensored Grace. The author is Jud Wilhite, and he pastors Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. I heard this man speak at a leadership conference last week and was blown away by the stories he told. I had to get his book! Since I got it, I haven’t been able to put it down. The pages of this book are filled with story after story of sinful people from Las Vegas who have been transformed by God’s grace and now live a life of service and whole-hearted surrender to God. I wanted to share an excerpt of Jud’s book with you…this part I found particularly thought provoking and convicting.

“As a pastor committed to a conservative Christian faith, I have no reason to water down the message of Christ and what He came to accomplish. He came to free people who were – and still are – enslaved by sin, and it is my job to share that message, to call people to break free from the bondage of sin.

But after I call sin what it is, I want to be soft on people. I’ve learned that my assessment of others is always incomplete. Sometimes people who have it together externally are a mess internally. They hide dark secrets and addictions. I’ve known people who appear together on the outside, but sexually abuse their children or beat their spouse in secret. No matter how well-grounded my assessment of someone may be, it is still incomplete. So if I’m going to be wrong anyways, I choose to err on the side of grace. I choose to suppress the initial categories I want to put people in – rich, poor, together, not together, druggie, yuppie, rocker, loser, winner, cool, uncool. I choose to remember that I don’t know their struggle or their pain. I choose to err on the side of grace because someday I’ll stand before God, and I pray He’ll err on the side of grace with me.

The truth is we are all a mess, but God loves messy people. I turn to the Bible and see Jesus hanging out with the riffraff of society. Eventually the religious leaders accused Him of being a glutton and a drunkard. He “welcomes sinners and eats with them,” they said (Luke 15:2). We can’t overestimate how radical this was in Jesus’ culture. To share a meal meant to extend a bond of friendship…

Jesus did not simple hang out with people on the fringes of society; He took great pleasure in being around them. “Sinners” referred to those of low reputation who engaged in blatant sin – prostitutes, crooked businessmen, drunks, and rough and tumble people like the ones you see on Jerry Springer. As they sat and laughed together, He imparted meaning and purpose with His presence. He blew up the social norms and celebrated life with others…

Why did Jesus delight in these people? Certainly because they were loved by God. Perhaps also because they didn’t pretend to be blameless. There is something refreshing about those who readily acknowledge imperfections. Rather than play self-righteous games, they are stripped of pride, aware of their brokenness, and open to the message of a savior. Jesus said the religious establishment was worse off because they thought they were righteous and were blind to their own sin.

Too often we mistake grace for weakness, forgiveness for giving in. We see strength only in pointing out sin and stomping on it until its dead. But in Jesus we find someone who has no patience for those more concerned with enforcing the rules than helping others. Though He was perfect and, therefore, in a position to judge and punish all of us, Jesus showed us a different kind of strength, a strength found in grace, compassion, and forgiveness.

A paragraph by C.S. Lewis rocked me…He noted that there is someone I love even though I do not always approve of what he does. There is someone I accept, though I don’t like some of his actions. That someone is…me. I don’t like a lot of the things I do, yet I still accept myself. If I can accept and love myself in this way, I can seek to extend a similar compassion to others. This insight allowed me to love people freely, irrespective of what they may or may not be doing.”

Pastor Jud goes on to describe three situations in his church where this kind of grace was not shown:

1). I’ve known churches where people turn their nose up at the guy who steps outside to smoke after the morning service. One person told me that after several judgmental looks and a few snide remarks, he took it as confirmation that he wasn’t good enough for church or for God…and he left. He was driven away from God by the very people who were supposed to represent Him.

2). One friend of mine had his marriage shattered by adultery. When he reached out to the church for help, he was told he would be welcomed back to the church after he reconciled what happened and made it right. How does one go about doing that in isolation? Their family was in crisis, and they needed help to reconcile the situation.

3). Another lady said she was leaving the church because she didn’t like the type of people that were showing up and she did not approve of the way they dressed. As she put it, “I’m scared to even sit in my seat at church because you never know what you might get from those people.” I tend to think her comment was much more offensive to Jesus than the things those people were doing. (When Jud told this story at the conference he told us, the crowd, that he said to the lady, “Well, then don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”)

Jud finishes this chapter with this paragraph:

“I’m ashamed and embarrassed that Bible-believing churches have so often failed the people God loves by holding on to judgment and refusing to show them His grace. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s time to take risks to do things differently.”

Saturday in Athens

I had the great privilege of having my first full UGA football experience...meaning both tailgating and the game. Unfortunately, the dawgs lost, but the whole day was great anyways!

My Saturday began at 5:30am, waking up and getting all dressed up for the day! In Athens on Saturday, everyone looks their best! I was decked out in a little black dress, a Georgia "G" necklace, a mascot bracelet, and a little bulldog tattoo (see my right cheek). I had never been so dressed up for a sporting event before, but it was sure fun to be in a dress (plus, it made me not sweat so much in the 90 degree heat that was during the whole game).

I left the house around 7am to go to Chick-fil-A to pick of a party tray for the tailgating. I had also made some of my own homemade pumpkin spice bread for everyone to enjoy. Since I work for Chick-fil-A, I was able to see some of my co-workers that morning. I was blessed with getting the day off to enjoy the entire game, so to bless my bosses for that, I made them some of their own pumpkin spice bread to put in the break room for their own fun Saturday.

I got to the tailgating spot around 8am, and then began the real fun. It was my first time actually tailgating before a UGA game, and it was great. We all enjoyed some great food, coffee, juice (since the game was at noon, we had breakfast food at our tailgate). It was a great time of fellowship, fun, and of course, getting pepped up for the game by listening to our school's fight songs on the iPod.














Pictures from tailgating...





Around 11am, the group of us starting walking down the road to Sanford Stadium. We wanted to make sure we got there early enough to get good seats in the stadium.


We got in the Stadium, and then the game began. The first couple of minutes were great, then the halftime show was amazing as always, then the last quarter was a nail biter, but the sad thing is...we ended up losing because of a last second touchdown. Oh well, the day was still super fun!

Lessons from Nicaragua

1. Don't wave at taxis, they will stop, thinking you need a ride.
2. Don't wear red in the mountains, a bull cow will charge you.
3. Pouring skittles into your hand after putting on bug spray does not make them taste good.
4. You can always put one more person into a vehicle.
5. In the US, we can say as much as we want to, but we don't. In Nicaragua, we want to say more than we are linguistically able to.
6. Bandannas make the outfit.
7. How to flush a toilet manually.
8. You will hear Soulja Boy singing and see Britney Spears posters.
9. God reminds you in little ways that he cares about what you're going through.
10. Hearing English words from Nicaraguans means a lot.
11. The power goes out at random intervals.
12. Crystal light makes warm water desirable to drink.
13. You will see people texting while riding...a horse!
14. Your feet will never be truly clean.
15. Don't drink the water.
16. Spades and hearts never get old.
17. Mafia does...
18. There are no street lights in smaller towns so watch where you're driving or you might hit a motorcycle.

LOST in Nicaragua

Thanks to some friends of mine, I have been hooked on the show LOST. I've seen all the seasons and just finished the series a few weeks ago when it came to a end. So, inspired by my friends doing the same thing, on my recent trip to Nicaragua I decided to be on the look-out for some numbers that are a key element in the show...

...and a Dharma symbol ?

A Choice is a Limitation

This is an excerpt from Elisabeth Elliot's book "Let Me Be A Woman," a book she wrote to her daughter when her daughter was engaged to be married. I thought this was a great chapter and wanted to share it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your most recent letter to me...said, "Oh Mama, it gets better and better!" You spoke of the utter peace and contentment you know when you are with him. We can believe that God has answered our prayers - mind of years' standing, "Keep her from and for the man she is to marry," ("from" meaning until His chosen time, that you would not hurry ahead of His will)-and yours to be guided to the man of His choice.

And so you wear his ring. Tertullian alludes to the ancient custom of wearing a gold ring on the fourth finger because it was believed that a vein ran from that finger directly to the heart. A woman was allowed to wear gold only there, in promise of marriage. In the medieval service the wedding ring was placed first on the thumb, "in the name of the father," then on the index finger, "in the name of Son," on the third finger, "in the name of the Holy Ghost," and on the fourth finger with the Amen.

When the wedding ring is put on your finger you will have finally sealed your choice. It is this man, and this one along, whom you have chosen for "as long as ye both shall live." There have been many revisions and improvisations in modern weddings, some of them made in the belief that words written by the bride and groom themselves are by that very fact to be preferred above old words written by somebody who knew how to write, because they are more "sincere" or "meaningful" or "honest," as though the repetition of others' words, probably clearer and more beautiful words than most of us could ever have written, cannot possibly be truthful. In one of these improvisations the phrase has been changed from "as long as we both shall live" to "as long as we both shall love." This cuts the heart out of the deepest meaning of the wedding. It is a vow you are making before God and before witnesses, a vow you will by God's grace keep, which does not depend on your moods or feelings or "how things turn out." As others have said, love does not preserve the marriage, the marriage preserves the love.

When you make a choice, you accept the limitations of that choice. To accept limitation requires maturity. The child has not yet learned that it can't have everything. What it sees it wants. What it does not get it screams for. It has to grow up to realize that saying Yes to happiness often means saying No to yourself.

Remember Dinesen's proud man: "He does not strive toward a happiness or comfort which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him." To choose to do this is to choose not to do a thousand other things. Those who made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of God, of whom Jesus speaks in Matthew 19:12, had to accept the radical limitations which being a eunuch imposed. Those who marry, Paul said, will have troubles in the flesh. Perhaps he felt that that statement was beyond dispute, that such troubles were obvious to anyone, but he did not mention the troubles in the flesh which one who does not marry may encounter. Perhaps that was too close to the bone for Paul to wish to speak of.

Last year there was a symposium of seminary women at which one women complained that everything in the seminary program was based on the assumption that the students were men. The statement was not accurate, but even if it had been, it would seem that a woman who chooses to go to seminary would know ahead of time that the majority of the students would be men and the program would naturally emphasize this. She would be prepared to be in the minority and accept the limitations imposed by this. Common sense would tell her this. I thought of John Sanders, a blind graduate of the seminary. I have never heard John complain that the whole world operates as though everybody can see. Of course the world operates that way. Most people can see. John accepts this as a matter of course, never whines or even refers to his blindness, and makes a way for himself in spite of the (to us) impossible limitations of his life.

You will remember Betty Greene, one of the founders of the Missionary Aviation Fellowship, who has flown every kind of plane except a jet. She even ferried bombers during World War II, and you were surprised that she didn't "look like a pilot." Nobody else thought she did either, and often when she would land in some foreign airfields the authorities were nonplussed to see a woman step out of the plane. "Do you fly these planes alone?" she was often asked. But long ago Betty had made up her mind that if she was going to make her way in a man's world she had to be a lady. She would have to compete with men in being a pilot, but she would not compete with men in being a man. She refused to try in any way to act like a man.

It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is a distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Women can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the human race. And femininity has its limitations. So has masculinity. That is what we've been talking about. To do this is not to do that. To be this is not to be that. To be a woman is not to be a man. To be married is not to be single...To marry this man is not to marry all the others. A choice is a limitation.